Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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