You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
