youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Drake has all the answers
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
