Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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