you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
