oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
