so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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