Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
