Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
