I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
