..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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