Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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