I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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