Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
