i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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