haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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