Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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