His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
