the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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