My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
