how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
