Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
