I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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