5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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