You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
