what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
