My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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