somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
