She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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