the day after is always just damage control
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
