Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
