Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
