I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i dont even know how to be here
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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