My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
