They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
