I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
