No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
