what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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