Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
