Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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