I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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