You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
