i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Your penis caused this!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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