Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
