True but thats because hes a fetus.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
