Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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