You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
