do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
