Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
