I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
