dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
