butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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