Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
