She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
