Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
