i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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