Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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