I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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