the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
